Lessons in cross-cultural competence: a cow, a casino, and Chihuahua, MX.

(Disclosure this is a long one.)

Last week I had a hilarious conversation with Robert Ashcraft over his experience visiting Chihuahua, Mexico.

 Dr. Ashcraft is the Executive Director of the ASU Lodestar Center for Philanthropy and Nonprofit Innovation under which Public Allies operates. Every now and then we get the chance to catch up in series of fast hallway conversations, but ever since he found out Chihuahua, Mexico was my families’ home state conversations got a little more interesting.

Robert had never been to Chihuahua, which prides itself on being a real “authentic” Mexican City.  Its beautiful, but I mean when is the last time you heard someone vacationing in Chihuahua? Naturally, Robert was nervous of what to expect, what to talk about, and how much people would get out of his speech. After all, Robert speaks no Spanish, is an Anglo blue eyed silver fox, and just wants to share his incredible passionate for the nonprofit sector.

So I helped him as much as I could; told him about my mom’s hometown and my wife’s rural upbringing two hours outside the city. I tried to orient him into the customs and culture, but wasn’t too nervous for him. Philanthropy in Mexico is much more political than it is in the U.S. In Mexico, nonprofits are usually funded by the elite and take the form of exclusive clubs and foundations. The wealthy take pride in holding fancy gala’s and benefits, and see nonprofits as formal associations. So I thought, “Robert will be fine, these people are most likely used to the American culture and will understand every word he says.” Those were my thoughts anyway.

A couple days before the trip, a friend of Roberts finds out he’s traveling into Mexico and generously offers to drive him from El Paso, TX to Chihuahua, Chihuahua, MX. Lesson one in Mexican culture, these kinds of favors come, they are a sign of respect, hospitality, and community, but Robert was on a time crunch to present at 10am and his flight wouldn’t land in El Paso till 6am. Paco, his friend insisted. He assured him he’d get him there in less than three hours; I knew what Paco was doing but I warned Robert considering the many times I made that trip it was at least a four-hour drive. But how could Robert refuse, right. Last thing he wanted was to be disrespectful, so he took the offer.

So the day came but nothing I could’ve oriented Robert on could have prepared him for the events of that day.

That morning, torrential rain hit northern Chihuahua and the southern US border. Paco arrived late to pick up Robert. Of course, Robert was infuriated leaving Paco incredibly ashamed. Needless to say the trip was uncomfortably long and the rain showed no signs of stopping. To calm the nerves Paco started up some crude jokes poking fun at Robert.

Lesson two, in Mexican culture poking fun at each other through crude humor isn’t seen as an insult its more of an icebreaker. Robert eventually caught on. But he was wet, anxious, and jetlagged.

They made the stop at a rural gas station outside Chihuahua City to change out of their damp clothes and freshen up. Robert was two hours late. Once in front of the conference hall, Paco literally pushed Robert out to the curb and tool off. Having no time to understand what just happened, Robert went in to find out he was pushed to the end of the conference at 7p.m. This would be okay, only that the new time was printed on the programs, which had to be printed days in advance, and Robert was given no heads up!

Lesson three; be prepared to be flexible and confortable with uncertainty. From personal experience, these types of unexpected changes are normal and should always be expected. Complaining, will only insult the host. Don’t do it.

By the time Robert’s keynote speech came up at 7p.m., the audience had considerably shrunk in size. I’m not sure Robert saw this as a relief or an insult; I think he’s still debating that himself.

As custom in any culture goes, the completion of any successful event gives cause for celebration. In the U.S. this could be drinks and dinner. But drinks and dinner aren’t really up to par in Mexican culture.  Robert was invited to a suit and tie Gala event at the brand new LEED certified Foundation building. The theme: Casino night.

As Robert recounts it, it was a full on world-class party. The women wore ballroom gowns, the men were suited up, the bar was open, and appetizers were exotic. Wagers were up and the prizes were incredibly generous. And throughout the whole thing Robert was in awe just imagining how he would justify something like this in the states.

The icing on the cake came at the end of the night, when the foundation presented to the crowd the grand prize. A 1200 pound, white cow!

Robert found this hilarious and super bazar. He couldn’t stop laughing while he told me. And in the back of my mind I just shook my head both in disbelief and amazement.  The white cow is traditionally a prized possession and an extreme delicacy in Chihuahua state thanks to the state’s deep history the cattle industry. But in a large city like Chihuahua, and among a crowd like this, who would expect something like a huge white cow in the middle of a gala?!

Last lesson, never underestimate the longevity of tradition. Robert thought this was the craziest most bazar thing he’d ever seen. To me, it was just a humble reminder of the complicated and tremendously rich culture, customs, and traditions of Mexico.